Celluloid

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“Women doing anything apart from falling in love remains under-represented across the board.”

Greta Gerwig, during an NYFF press conference

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Photo by Kristina Paukshtite, courtesy of Magdeleine
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cloak

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they don’t see the laugh
the talk, the walk
forget the jokes, the art-rock
the crinkle, the quirks
the passion, the works…
your situation is who you become
no matter how far you run
as who should say
it’s bigger than the parts
that make up the one

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This post is loosely inspired by an Oh Wonder song called Overgrown, which is about being there for a loved one whose depression seems to have taken over their personality .

 

bloom

photo-1439894671367-1904e126d8f1oh, bloom, little one

let the sun drink your hues

let the air carry your song

don’t be afraid to let loose

let your arrival be bold

you will be your own muse

 

Photo courtesy of Jimmy Chang via magdeleine.com

Up before nine

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all of my plans, piling on

all of my friends, moving on

all of my dreams, getting buried

this failure of a life

it’s not what I’d foreseen

but today,

I’m up before nine

smoke in my hair

dust on my skin

and sun in my eyes

young and careless no more

sans escapes, sans lies

 

Photo by Annie Spratt courtesy of magdeleine.com

A bad morning

auto-3079295_1280Have nowhere to be
Been struggling for three
Been milking my stay
My dad told me yesterday
Circling in a passive state
Maybe a decade too late
Dropped my daughter to work today
Said I don’t get how they play
This game of masters and money
I’ve been home for three
With nowhere else to be
No outlet for the rage inside me…

 

photo courtesy of pixabay.com

 

 

 

the loop

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“In suffering, you’ve found a greater understanding and appreciation for all of life’s wonders. You’re still trying to believe it every day. One morning you convince yourself it will all be worth it the next you’re down and believe it all to be worthless.”

-Connor Franta, Note to self

WIP

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when I’m working,
I don’t doze off to escape.

when I’m working,
I forget that I’ve gained weight.

when I’m working,
I don’t touch the scars on my face.

when I’m working,
I don’t think about the closed gates.

when I’m working,
I don’t worry about my thinning hairline.

when I’m working,
I don’t feel the heaviness on my eyes.

when I’m working,
I find no  joy  in whining.

when I’m working,
I don’t have to find a silver lining …

 

 

photo by Anubhav Saxena, courtesy of Unsplash

Just a bit of hope

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When I started this blog, a little over a year ago, I was in a difficult space personally, and felt like I needed an outlet. I like to think that I’ve since grown to embrace a lot more about myself and understood some of the tricks to ‘keep on and keeping on.’  I wanted to write this post as I wanted to share some of the things that I’ve learnt, but also, I am writing this for myself – to be able to come back to it whenever I feel lost again. So, here goes:

Surround yourself with positive, supportive and understanding people.

Recently, a friend gave me one of the best pieces of advice: “Think of what you would want to do and work towards it; don’t think too much about what you’re good at and what you could do.” I carry this with me every day as I hustle and move forward. And as I go, I am constantly reminded that my I CAN is more important than my IQ.

Limit your distractions, and do at least one thing every day that brings you closer to your goal. I’ve realised that I am usually able sleep better at night when I’ve been productive during the day.

Exercise. Sometimes your mind needs it more than your body does.

Don’t forget to take breaks, and take a moment to pat yourself on the back for how far you’ve come.

Know that there will always be good days and bad days, but you can find your way through it all.  Believe that going on is always the best bet.